weight loss, Weight Loss Journey

Yes, broken but only for a little while….

Something to think about….

I started this site to write down my feelings, hopes, struggles and successes. I don’t know if it will help anyone else but surely it will help me. I have been failing at weight loss for most of my life. I have an eating disorder that most people and my family would laugh at because they would say I am “just fine the way I am.” It’s funny how the people you love and love you back have rose colored glasses on when it comes to you. I guess that is love…

In reality I am a binge eater. For the most part I am not afraid to talk about it. I am certainly not proud of it, but I know it is a little part of who I am but it’s not all of who I am…. I am so many things, but most people don’t know much about me. I pretty much keep to myself and do my own thing. It’s funny because I assume, they “those people” assume a lot about me. Little do they know that I ate an entire box of Girl Scout cookies on my own yesterday and totally spiraled out of control! Nope they didn’t know that… Embarrassing but I did it…

I have been told I look like the preppy girl next door that has never lived much…. But that’s not really the case…

People think I listen to country music because I am from Texas and because I look like someone who would. In truth my favorite band is Metallica, but I like some country too…

Most people assume I am smart because I am college education with a Bachelor’s of Science and a MBA. What they don’t know is that I was diagnosed with a learning disorder when I was in elementary school and nothing has ever come easy to me. Nothing was handed to me (you would know that by my student loan debit). I have had to earn everything by working for it.

Most people think I am a mother with a lot of kids when in fact I have never been able to carry a baby to term.

People see that I live in a big house and assume my life has always been privileged when in fact I grew up in a family with just enough to get by. So yes, I know how the other half live and always will because I was the other half.

I have little dreams that I keep to myself, because they are personal dreams not big dreams like being president. Little dreams like riding a roller coaster again. I feel too fat to do it now. How about riding in an airplane? Yes that would be amazing… it’s been a long time. As silly as it might sound I would love to take a kick boxing class but I wouldn’t been comfortable until I was a little thinner and felt more confident. 9 Round just opened by my house… someday.

I am currently trying to improve my self-esteem by trying Weight Watchers or WW for the 1000th time or pretty close to that number…  One day at a time right?

The last 3 days of WW have been and epic fail for me. I just been on a binge eating cycle that I can’t seem to jump on. It’s 10am on Tuesday and I haven’t binged or even had the desire so maybe I am back on track? Maybe… I am faithful.

Stay tuned for more fun filled adventures of losing, gaining and everything in between. BTW Hi it’s nice to meet you. I am Kody!!